Dating a married man with a pregnant wife
And knowing that she is trying to keep everything the same so he doesn’t suspect anything which means his All Access Pass is still active. The most mundane details of daily existence are the threads that bind us. He’s the one who goes to the grocery store with her. She is doing everything she can to not cause him more pain than necessary. I’ve met with him and apologized for the way things transpired. Knowing that something you must do in order to seek your own happiness will directly cause pain for someone else you care about is not an easy thing to do. But you must forge ahead with an eye toward healing – for everyone. It is knowing that we have found the one with whom our soul connects. Granted, she told me a month ago that there had been no desire or intimate activity since she met me. He’s the one driving her to do her shopping and then carrying her bags while she shops. The situation is much more nuanced and sophisticated than it would appear some of the commenters are able to process. Handling an emotionally difficult situation with grace and elegance rather than clumsy self-absorption requires care and precision. In order to come on the other side of the experience with your self-esteem intact and any sense of dignity will require patience and fortitude. Anyone who looks at an affair with a simplistic “black and white” filter is doing a disservice to the human spirit…
The secrets, the hiding, the lying, the denial, the stolen moments, becoming someone whose behavior does not match one’s self-image or presumed values… And yet I find myself “sweating the small stuff.” For instance, leaving her at night knowing she will be in his bed. He is still not living in their home and they are having an ongoing discussion about the end of their marriage. And it is tough to find one’s self in a position of cognitive dissonance and self-recrimination.
in general, the cognitive dissonance an affair requires. Knowing the distance between her shower and her clothes/closet and that there is no privacy. Despite some of the vitriolic (and inane) comments, she is trying to be respectful about the way she ends the marriage. The only way to handle it with dignity is to try to treat everyone involved with respect and honesty.
He’s the one whose opinion she solicits regarding how that shirt or those jeans look on her. And there will be plenty of times when both of those are in short supply.
He’s still the one who hears that familiar intimacy in her voice when she’s talking about the details of daily life. Add to the fact that new years eve found them in NYC for the ball drop; another one of her “bucket list” experiences that she, yet again, ticked off with him. I missed something else that she will remember for the rest of her life. You just have to take it one step at a time and give all parties involved time to process the new paradigm and readjust their presuppositions.
She married her long-term boyfriend Jesse Watters in 2009.